Hi there everyone!
I hope you are all enjoying the
spring weather that is hopefully arriving. Here in Nicaragua we are entering summer,
which means the temperatures are rising daily, most days averaging 90 degrees.
School is now in full swing and we
have all adjusted to the new schedules and changes that this year brought
about. The biggest change is that 5th and 6th grade
students are now in some type of class or workshop from 7 am to 5 pm. In
Nicaragua school is normally only half day (either from 7-12 or 12-4) because
there are not enough classrooms to hold all of the students. In our home we
have historically followed the same schedule of class from 7:30-12:30, with the
exception of high school students going to vocational workshops from 2-5, after
lunch.
Well, this year the directors
switched around the schedule a bit to provide structured homework help and
introduce older elementary students to the workshops. The older students in elementary school were switched to
afternoon classes and morning workshops and have the following schedule…
7-9 am: Homework session run by
the tios and divided by gender and grade
9-10
am: Free time to play on the swings, go for a walk or relax
10-12
am: Vocational workshops
12-12:30:
Lunch
12:30-5
pm: Classes
5-6:
Free time
6:30
Dinner
7-8:
Chores, wash uniforms and free time.
8:
Bed
To me, the schedule seemed very
rigorous and demanding for my 12 year olds boys but they are adjusting and
truly learning a lot more than in past years. The structured reinforcement
outside of class time is also helping them to receive the individual attention
that they might not get in class.
Unfortunately, the majority of the
boys in my house are passing through a strong rebellious phase. The behaviors
range from stealing, escaping at night, acting out in class and otherwise
challenging authority figures. Luckily the tios, directors and coordinators
have all been proactive in dealing with their behavior by talking to them and
putting just punishments (aka working in the fields all day long). But for some
reason the talks and lectures just don’t seem to make a difference. It goes in
one ear, out the other and back to breaking rules and pushing the line.
Outside of the home, there are
children begging for food, suffering abuse and being denied an education. Here
we never worry about being fed three times a day, having a school with teachers
who show up, having a bed to sleep in at night and never being hit. There are
teachers for dance, music, art and a 24-hour clinic. At times I become extremely frustrated at them for not
taking advantage of all of these opportunities with which they are so blessed
and even flirting with expulsion.
I become disheartened, hopeless and just want to scream “You have it SO
good here! What don’t you get?”
But then I remember two things that
help me to hold my tongue and love them even more.
1. They are just kids. At the end
of the day a 12-year-old boy is a 12-year-old boy. He is going to challenge
authority, push you to your limits, go crazy from hormones and rebel against
everything. That’s what kids do. From age 2 to age 12 I would at times act like
the “devil child” (as my father lovingly called me) and enter into fits of
rage. But I grew out of it and am now a mature and intelligent adult (or at
least I like to think so…). This helps me realize that this is just a phase for
my boys. It just so happens that we have about 10 of them going through it at
the same time, adding fuel to each other’s fires.
The second thing I realize is that I
do not know any of my boys as well as I would like to think at times. I have no
idea most of their histories: how they ended up here at NPH, what their family
life was like before or what it is like to grow up in a group home. From the
few stories I have been told, I can only imagine the weight of the crosses they
carry and the trauma they have been subjected to. One child was dropped off at
an intersection 5 kilometers away and told to walk here because his/her family
no longer wanted him/here. Another was repeatedly raped by a stepfather and
went to live with a sister where she was then raped by a neighbor. To say the
least, they’ve been through a lot and learned to survive. Maybe they put up
walls so they can no longer get hurt, maybe they wait for failure because
people have failed them time and time again, maybe they steal because for so
long they had nothing.
I will never completely understand
where they come from and why they act out in the ways they do. That is a simple
fact. However, I am not meant to understand or to judge. That is for God to do.
I am meant to love.
So with these two realizations, I
swallow my frustrations, take a deep breath and offer a hug and a smile.
Because the rebellious boys have been working off their punishments, I have
spent a lot more time with those who are not punished. In the end, I am
connecting even more with them and can give them attention and positive
reinforcement, a special silver lining. And when punishments are over and I see
the boys for a few minutes I give hugs to those who will accept and pray even
more for those who won’t.
One of our favorite things to do in the boy's house is to go for long walks so a few weeks ago we went to a nearby sugar mill and were able to play around with the equipment.
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| To squeeze out the juice, you push the sugar cane through a press. |
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| A view from outside the mill. |
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| Another favorite destination is the large mango tree on the edge of the property. |
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| Traveling by "panga" to the Pearl Keys. |
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| The Pearl Keys, where we spent an entire day relaxing. |
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| First we rowed in a canoe hallowed out from a tree for 45 minutes. |
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| Then we walked through the jungle for half an hour. |
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| And finally we arrived at his farm! |
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| Where we ate lots of coconut and other fruits he offered to us. |
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