Boys will be boys

Hi there everyone!

I hope you are all enjoying the spring weather that is hopefully arriving. Here in Nicaragua we are entering summer, which means the temperatures are rising daily, most days averaging 90 degrees.

School is now in full swing and we have all adjusted to the new schedules and changes that this year brought about. The biggest change is that 5^th and 6^th grade students are now in some type of class or workshop from 7 am to 5 pm. In Nicaragua school is normally only half day (either from 7-12 or 12-4) because there are not enough classrooms to hold all of the students. In our home we have historically followed the same schedule of class from 7:30-12:30, with the exception of high school students going to vocational workshops from 2-5, after lunch.

Well, this year the directors switched around the schedule a bit to provide structured homework help and introduce older elementary students to the workshops.  The older students in elementary school were switched to afternoon classes and morning workshops and have the following schedule…

7-9 am: Homework session run by the tios and divided by gender and grade

            9-10 am: Free time to play on the swings, go for a walk or relax

            10-12 am: Vocational workshops

            12-12:30: Lunch

            12:30-5 pm: Classes

            5-6: Free time

            6:30 Dinner

            7-8: Chores, wash uniforms and free time.

            8: Bed

To me, the schedule seemed very rigorous and demanding for my 12 year olds boys but they are adjusting and truly learning a lot more than in past years. The structured reinforcement outside of class time is also helping them to receive the individual attention that they might not get in class.

Unfortunately, the majority of the boys in my house are passing through a strong rebellious phase. The behaviors range from stealing, escaping at night, acting out in class and otherwise challenging authority figures. Luckily the tios, directors and coordinators have all been proactive in dealing with their behavior by talking to them and putting just punishments (aka working in the fields all day long). But for some reason the talks and lectures just don’t seem to make a difference. It goes in one ear, out the other and back to breaking rules and pushing the line.

Outside of the home, there are children begging for food, suffering abuse and being denied an education. Here we never worry about being fed three times a day, having a school with teachers who show up, having a bed to sleep in at night and never being hit. There are teachers for dance, music, art and a 24-hour clinic.  At times I become extremely frustrated at them for not taking advantage of all of these opportunities with which they are so blessed and even flirting with expulsion.  I become disheartened, hopeless and just want to scream “You have it SO good here! What don’t you get?”

But then I remember two things that help me to hold my tongue and love them even more.

1. They are just kids. At the end of the day a 12-year-old boy is a 12-year-old boy. He is going to challenge authority, push you to your limits, go crazy from hormones and rebel against everything. That’s what kids do. From age 2 to age 12 I would at times act like the “devil child” (as my father lovingly called me) and enter into fits of rage. But I grew out of it and am now a mature and intelligent adult (or at least I like to think so…). This helps me realize that this is just a phase for my boys. It just so happens that we have about 10 of them going through it at the same time, adding fuel to each other’s fires.

The second thing I realize is that I do not know any of my boys as well as I would like to think at times. I have no idea most of their histories: how they ended up here at NPH, what their family life was like before or what it is like to grow up in a group home. From the few stories I have been told, I can only imagine the weight of the crosses they carry and the trauma they have been subjected to. One child was dropped off at an intersection 5 kilometers away and told to walk here because his/her family no longer wanted him/here. Another was repeatedly raped by a stepfather and went to live with a sister where she was then raped by a neighbor. To say the least, they’ve been through a lot and learned to survive. Maybe they put up walls so they can no longer get hurt, maybe they wait for failure because people have failed them time and time again, maybe they steal because for so long they had nothing.

I will never completely understand where they come from and why they act out in the ways they do. That is a simple fact. However, I am not meant to understand or to judge. That is for God to do. I am meant to love.

So with these two realizations, I swallow my frustrations, take a deep breath and offer a hug and a smile. Because the rebellious boys have been working off their punishments, I have spent a lot more time with those who are not punished. In the end, I am connecting even more with them and can give them attention and positive reinforcement, a special silver lining. And when punishments are over and I see the boys for a few minutes I give hugs to those who will accept and pray even more for those who won’t.

 Here are some pictures of the recent activities we have been doing…

One of our favorite things to do in the boy's house is to go for long walks so a few weeks ago we went to a nearby sugar mill and were able to play around with the equipment.

To squeeze out the juice, you push the sugar cane through a press.

A view from outside the mill. 

Another favorite destination is the large mango tree on the edge of the property. 

A few weeks ago on a weekend off I went with three other volunteers to visit the Atlantic (Caribbean) coast. The scenery, culture, food and even language were completely different! They speak Creole english, travel all over by boat and cook everything with coconuts or coconut oil. It was a wonderful way to relax and see more of the diversity in this country.

Traveling by "panga" to the Pearl Keys. 

The Pearl Keys, where we spent an entire day relaxing. 

We also visited a local village and met an extremely friendly farmer who offered to show us his farm the next day. We had no idea what we were getting into but said "Ok!" and showed up the next day... 

First we rowed in a canoe hallowed out from a tree for 45 minutes. 

Then we walked through the jungle for half an hour. 

And finally we arrived at his farm! 

Where we ate lots of coconut and other fruits he offered to us. 

Some updates...

Hey there everyone!
           I have been trying to get this post up for a few days but the power (and therefore internet) has been in and out all week so my apologies. 

            Thanks once again for checking in on my blog.  Life here at NPH Nicaragua has been pretty hectic these past few weeks with a third grade class getting the best of me, some rowdy days in Casa San Jose and three goodbyes.

            As far as third graders go, I learned a very important lesson this week: never ever trust a group of 8 year olds to stay in their seats while you go off to find their homeroom teacher. Even though they say they won’t move, the second you turn your back you have one off to the fields, one running around the high school and one locked in the bathroom-of another classroom. Corralling them back into the room was quite a sight; at least I gave the other teachers a laugh.

            In other news, in the volunteer house we said goodbye to one of the volunteers who had finished her 13-month term and is headed home (with some backpacking through South America along the way). She had become a close friend of mine who could always be counted on for a healthy vent about the craziness here, a spontaneous session of aerobics to the tune of “Shake it Off” or a great night out. I’m sorry to say goodbye but happy I at least got to know her over the past 7 months.

            The two additional goodbyes were for the two tias in my house. After working for over 10 years, the two of them decided to leave for a number of personal reasons. Anyone who has heard me talk about my experience so far will know that I consider them the angels of Casa San Jose and my personal role models as a madrina.

            Here is a small glimpse of their job responsibilities…

Everyday they wake the boys up at 5 am and get them ready for school while overseeing the cleaning of the entire house, serving breakfast, sewing ripped pants, helping find homework and dealing with those who got up on the wrong side of the bed. While the boys are at school they are on break, during which they re-clean the house, do their own laundry and, if they are lucky, take a quick nap. Once school is out they help with homework, chores, tears and anything else that a typical mother does- multiplied by 14. I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen them sit down while on the job. To sum it up, they do the impossible everyday for 10 days in a row. 

So perhaps a more appropriate description would be half angels half energizer bunnies….

            The night before they left, I was given the two best pieces of advice I have yet to hear about working here:

“Gather up as much ‘animo’ and ‘paciencia’ as you can muster, and when you’re all out, ask God for a second helping of each.”

The word “animo” roughly translates to excitement, energy, passion and even courage. “Paciencia” translates, as you guessed, to patience. One of my tias even has a habit of throwing up her hands and exclaiming, “Dios dame paciencia con este chavalo” (God, give me patience with this boy). Now, that might seem a bit dramatic but it normally brings about giggles from the boys, solving her problem in an interesting manner.

            So the logical conclusion of our conversation? If I want to be the angelic energizer bunny like the tias I look up to, I need to ask for and find a lot of patience and “animo”. Although these two things may seem too simple to make me a better madrina, I disagree. Sometimes life is just that simple. I’ll let you know how it goes for me…

            On an unrelated note, I happened to climb a volcano two weeks ago on a weekend off.  Along with two other volunteers and a guide, I camped out about 100 meters below the crater. Here are some pictures from the hike and campsite…

Our oasis like campsite right below the crater. 

Me and two other volunteers on the edge of the crater. 

Here's a shot of the amazing view we had over the land below. 

Have I told you I started doing yoga?

 This post my food update is not quite Nicaraguan. Well actually, it’s 100% American and 0% Nica… I managed to make homemade peanut butter! It’s not only deliciously natural but also a lot cheaper than the $9.00 mini jars that I can buy here.

NOTE: Unfortunately, I am no longer allowed to post pictures of the kids because of privacy issue so I cannot show you how they are doing. However, we did have an NPH photographer come visit and I finally have some evidence that I do actually teach.

Neccesary clarification here: I was NOT yelling at the student but rather
super excited because he managed to pronounce purple correctly.